Do we make use of the possibilities of our lives? That which did not unfold—was it a real chance to experience something important, or merely a simple play of the mind? Our feelings, as in so many cases, can lead us to our answers. Imagination is a feather-light product of the mind, and therefore it fades quickly. It leaves behind no regret, no oppressive weight of a missed opportunity. If we feel such heaviness, it comes from somewhere else.
Perhaps there is an invisible track in our lives where these unfulfilled possibilities live. Events that never took physical form also have consequences. This can appear as a kind of emptiness or lack we sense within ourselves. These fleeting chances of life usually belong to a specific time or event. If we do not seize them, the moment carries them away. But it leaves behind an unforgettable reminder: what if? No matter how much the mind struggles, creating countless different scenarios, this still remains an unanswerable question. Yet it can help us make a different decision when another opportunity is offered— in this life, or in another.
There are such events in my life, and there are also those where I did live with the opportunity that was offered. I remember those moments sharply, because they stand out unmistakably from the rest. This is how I did not become a professional athlete; this is how I did not go to college; this is how I did not live with the gift of healing. But this is also how the teahouse was created, how I met my Beloved, and how we came home from abroad. The latter carry the peace of wholeness and gratitude. The fact that I did not become a professional athlete does not concern me. The fact that the college years were left out is now at peace within me. Stepping back from the opportunity of a deeper spiritual path is still healing. These were offered possibilities I was ready for. With some I lived; with others I did not.
I believe it is very important to let the present melt these unfulfilled stories, these unlived qualities of our being, into itself. The life we are living now is whole—both because of, and despite, the directions we did not take. If the question “what if?” appears, let us simply stop and observe where it would take us. At the same time, let us realize that all the experiences and learnings of our life so far would not exist if we had decided differently back then. Stay with this experience until gratitude and loving-kindness appear. Instead of the uncertainty of an unanswerable question, choose the certainty of the present moment. Because it is authentic. Because it heals.
The moment heals.
With love,
Your traveling companion
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